trina3 (trina3) wrote in dissociatedfew,
trina3
trina3
dissociatedfew

i feel i'm starting to slip away from reality

i live with my friend now and i really love him,but it's a lonely world.i need hugs and stuff and i get none.he doesn't want me to even leave the house to be around people,but i don't even get a hug once w week and i get no humane affection any more.he is so good to me but i am so lonely eith him being my whole world,and i don't know how to make it better.i have been starting to slip away from reality a lot of the time because i am so lonely that my mind just gives me a hell of a bad time some times.it's not my friends job to passify me by giving me hugs and stuff like that,but at the same time i'm not even supposed to go anywher that i can be around people to get those of my needs met.the lonely ones are the ones that cut deep.maybe i should just talk to him about it,but i don't even know where to start tolking to someone like him about something like that,and the reason i can't leave the house is because when i do get hte chance to get away i usually get drunk and when i get back home i pay the price because he gers extremely cold with me and thinks i am just the worst person in the world,he knows how lucky i am to be here i've heard him mumble it under his breath,so i don't even have any leway to make anything any better,because with him being so much better than me i don't even feel i have the right to say anything off key.so i dont know what to do i guess i was born to be lonely.
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