trina3 (trina3) wrote in dissociatedfew,

i feel i'm starting to slip away from reality

i live with my friend now and i really love him,but it's a lonely world.i need hugs and stuff and i get none.he doesn't want me to even leave the house to be around people,but i don't even get a hug once w week and i get no humane affection any more.he is so good to me but i am so lonely eith him being my whole world,and i don't know how to make it better.i have been starting to slip away from reality a lot of the time because i am so lonely that my mind just gives me a hell of a bad time some's not my friends job to passify me by giving me hugs and stuff like that,but at the same time i'm not even supposed to go anywher that i can be around people to get those of my needs met.the lonely ones are the ones that cut deep.maybe i should just talk to him about it,but i don't even know where to start tolking to someone like him about something like that,and the reason i can't leave the house is because when i do get hte chance to get away i usually get drunk and when i get back home i pay the price because he gers extremely cold with me and thinks i am just the worst person in the world,he knows how lucky i am to be here i've heard him mumble it under his breath,so i don't even have any leway to make anything any better,because with him being so much better than me i don't even feel i have the right to say anything off i dont know what to do i guess i was born to be lonely.
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